Falling In Love

What is it really like to fall in love? Well, there is not just one answer to this question. Falling in love is a different experience for each individual.

You came out of nowhere, and hit me like a stray bullet
But if you were a stray bullet, why did you come straight for my heart?
My eyes did not see you, my ears did not hear you, my mind did not know you
But my heart, it felt you
And it beat slower and slower as you made your way deeper and deeper… 

It wasn’t meant to happen like this
I was supposed to be ready. It was supposed to be my choice
Yet, here I lie. Should I fight or should I let go?
Slower… Slower… Slower…
Goodbye strength, goodbye reason, goodbye choice
I have fallen in love

A while back, I fell in love. It was at a time in my life when I thought of love as more mechanical than emotional. I was a strong advocate for “walking cautiously into love”. So I decided that I needed to analyze these feelings I was experiencing. I analyze things best by writing them down, so one Saturday Morning, I picked up my journal and decided that I would write out a list of reasons why I felt this way and decide whether or not they were valid. What I ended up with was this poem.

If you know me, you’ll know that I love to sing. One of my favorite songs is “Falling In Love with Jesus” by Kirk Whalum. When I first heard it, I loved it and every time I have sung it since then, I have been utterly convinced that I truly was in love with Christ. But then I started thinking, am I really in love with Him? I mean, when you’re even just infatuated with someone, you want to talk to them all the time. You text them, you call them, you write to them. You want to tell them about even the smallest thing that happened to you that day. At least that’s the way it’s been for me. I have to admit that I don’t really feel this way about Christ. Or at least I don’t act like I do. When I pray, I do it as a duty, to be a “good Christian” and to avoid bad things happening to me; Literally all the wrong reasons.

So, I’ve decided that I will begin to actively cultivate my love relationship with Christ. Every week (at least once) I will write a love letter to God. Once a month, I will share one of those letters here. Hopefully I’ll end up being honest when I sing that song. I invite you to join me in this journey. Let’s truly be the “Bride of Christ”.