In 2015, I was living what many would call a good life. I lived alone in a beautiful studio apartment, was paying my way through Bible School and working at a Christian Ministry. I was also part of the worship team at church and one of the youth leaders. Not bad for a 26-year-old Christian girl called into ministry. I remember one Friday night I was leaving Bible Study and my Pastor happened to be at church. I went over to say hello and introduce a new Youth Group member. After all the niceties were exchanged and we were walking away, he said to her, “You’re in the right company.”
Sadly, the image of myself I was portraying was not quite so accurate. I was deeply unhappy at work, which was affecting my personal life. I was eating way more than I should have been and I had become too dependent on Netflix and TV in general. After hearing several sermons talking about being brave, taking leaps of faith and recognizing God’s voice, I felt that God was leading me to quit my job. However, since it wasn’t clear to me what my next step should be, I stuck around convincing myself that if it were God’s voice, the next step would be clear. I wanted to have a back up plan so I started applying for other jobs that seemed better. Unfortunately I didn’t hear back from any of them. It took one last sermon about the call of Abraham to get me to finally accept it. See, when God told Abraham to leave his home, He didn’t tell him where he was going. He simply said, “…I will show you.”
Now the LORD had said to Abram: “Get out of your country, from your family and from your father’s house, to a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”
So, in July of 2015, I drafted my resignation letter and turned it in to my boss giving a two-week notice. After leaving my boss’ office that morning, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Though this was a big decision I had no doubt it was the right one. I did, however, still worry about what my next step would be. Mainly, I worried about how I would make a living. Then I remembered what Jesus had said about worrying (Matthew 6:25-34) so I decided to set a challenge for myself. I prayed that whatever blessing would come out of this would be bigger than money. Too often, you’ll hear testimonies from people about how they took a leap of faith and left their job, or how they got fired got fired, but it always seems to end with how they got a better job and more money. I wanted my testimony to be about a greater blessing.
The challenge proved to be harder than expected. I won’t bother you with the details in this post, but I ended up having to let go of a lot of things. In the New Testament there is a story of a rich young man. He came to Jesus asking how he could inherit eternal life. Based on the answer that he gave to Jesus’ questions, he appeared to be quite confident about his chances. After all, he was following all the “rules”. But then came the final step; Jesus said there was just one thing He lacked. He had to let go of all his riches.
Luke 18:22-23 (NKJV)
So when Jesus heard these things, He said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich.
Through my struggle of trying to navigate life without a steady income, I learned something about myself. As much as I didn’t consider myself materialistic or a “lover of money”, this is exactly who I was. I placed more value on “things” than I wanted to admit. I was talking to a friend of mine once and she said something that has stuck with me. “Sometimes God lets you go through tough times to show you your heart.” I truly did see my heart and I was not happy with what I saw. I’m glad I did though, because then I started working my way toward changing for the better.
I will definitely share more of my story and how I’m changing later on. For now, I would like to leave you with a question; Is there something that you wouldn’t let go of to inherit eternal life?
Thank you for reading! Please comment and share. I’ll catch you again next week!